Apologies
by phoenixnz
Summary: Lex addresses that annoying little trait Clark has, called the guilt complex. NB: Clark and Lex friendship. Lex knows the secret.


Clark flopped down on the leather couch, sighing heavily.

"Rough day?" Lex said mildly.

"That's an understatement."

Lex closed the lid of his laptop and got up to join his friend on the couch.

"I'd offer you a drink, but all I have is scotch, or I'd offer to light your cigarette, but you don't smoke."

Clark stared at him, his expression perplexed. Lex smirked.

"It's a cliché, Clark. A woman, or man in this case, walks into the bar and the bartender says, 'rough day?' before pouring them a glass of whisky and lighting a cigarette." His friend frowned, clearly still not getting the reference. "Never mind. You had to be there," Lex replied, sighing. "So what's got you so down?"

"Nothing."

"Right," he said sceptically. "And the fact that your face is practically dragging on the floor means nothing."

Another stare. It seemed he was batting 0 for 2 today.

"Clark, talk to me."

"Nothing to talk about," Clark mumbled.

Lex rolled his eyes. "Fine. Don't talk to me. I'll just go back to my corner and let you stew on whatever it is that's bothering you. I have work to do anyway."

Just as Lex got up to go back to his desk, Clark made a low noise in his throat.

"You just don't get what it's like for me, Lex. I mean, you have no idea what it's like to feel like you have to constantly apologise for who you are. For where you come from."

"Hmm, let's see, ninety-nine percent of the population in this town absolutely loathe my father and half of them think I'm tarred with the same brush and blame me for everything that goes wrong in this town. Gee, no, what is that like, Clark?"

"God, you know what I mean."

"Why don't you tell me?"

"Okay, there was another meteor-related attack today. This dog must have got exposed somehow and it winds up mauling this three year old kid. So I went after it and barely got out of it intact. I had to break its neck."

"Well, it sounds to me like it was the only possible solution. Once a dog gets a taste of blood ..."

"This was someone's pet, Lex, not a wild dog. It was just a cocker spaniel."

"That doesn't mean it doesn't happen, Clark. Small dogs can be just as vicious as bigger dogs. Sometimes even more so. And they don't have to be wild to suddenly turn on someone. As I was going to say before you rudely interrupted me, once a dog gets a taste of blood the only possible outcome is to put them down."

"That still doesn't make me feel any better. Sometimes ..."

"What?"

"Well, sometimes I think life would be better if I'd never come here. Like I should have died on Krypton."

Lex sighed. They'd had this argument so often since Clark had told him the truth about his origins. No matter how many times Lex had presented him with the facts, that the meteors would have come anyway, Clark still felt guilty.

He sat down on the couch and put a hand around the back of his friend's neck, gently squeezing.

"You, my friend, are an idiot!"

"I know what you think, but what if you're wrong?"

"I'm not wrong, Clark. I've done the simulations enough times to know the outcome. They would have come here with or without you. They were pieces of the exploded planet and they would have drifted here regardless."

Clark pulled away and got up.

"I'm tired, Lex. I'm tired of trying to be something I'm not, of always trying to live up to everyone's expectations. I'm tired of feeling like a freak."

"You are not a freak!" Lex said fiercely. "If anyone's a freak ..."

Clark turned on him. "Don't you dare say that! I hate it when you put yourself down!"

Lex got up and went to his friend, forcing him to look him squarely in the eyes.

"Then don't do it to yourself, Clark. Stop apologising for who and what you are."

Clark sighed. "What am I, Lex?"

"You're a young man who cares about doing the right thing, no matter what. So what if you come from another planet? In many ways you are more human than a lot of humans on this planet. And that includes my father."

"So, um, if your dad isn't human, where do you think he comes from?"

"Oh, so many choices, so little time," Lex said with a grin. "Now come on, I know what will cheer you up."

"Ooh, pizza with everything?" Clark asked.

"Plus there's this movie I've been wanting to watch. I never got a chance to see it when it was out in theatres. It's these three guys who get kicked out of their frat house so they are forced to dress in drag and go live in a sorority house."

"In drag? Sounds like years of therapy waiting to happen."

Lex groaned. "Tell me about it."

"There'll be popcorn, won't there?"

"You want popcorn after pizza?"

"I'm a growing boy," Clark grinned.

Lex sighed. "Fine, there'll be popcorn. The things I do for you, farmboy."


End file.
